December 8th, 2024

Oh my goodness- it's almost been a month since I posted. So much has happened so let's get into it!

Round Three left me feeling exhausted. It was the first time that I had several times when I was trying to accomplish something- clean up a room, for example, and I had to physically sit down. That was happening a lot. The first week after treatment, I was moving really slow, not feeling awful- but moving slower and not accomplishing as much. By the week after though I was feeling great! Totally back to myself. 

Round Four was interesting because I had a new nurse and from the beginning I could tell she didn't really know what she was doing. She used her hand and massaged my port for a good two minutes prior to inserting the needle and kept asking me if it moved or shifted. I was like, I don't think so? I'm thinking, how would I know? Then, when she inserted the needle, she didn't access the port and then kept moving the needle all around in my skin. OUCH! Anyway, she called someone else over who got it started. And at the end, although I asked, she said I didn't need the little device that boosts my white blood cells with a shot the next day. She said my numbers were good and I didn't need it. I found this fishy because I could see my numbers in the portal, and some were worse than previous times, but I said nothing.  I ended up having to go back in two days to get that shot. I won't do that again, if I don't feel confident in my nurse or have questions, I will ask for another one or at least for the charge nurse to explain what is going on. 

Round Four was the week of Thanksgiving and I was concerned about being totally exhausted on Thursday. The tiredness did come back, but I was ready for it. I took a lot of breaks and had a lot of help. My Edmonds family came up and did most of the cooking. Brandon and Bryson smoked a turkey. I made a couple sides- easy stuff. And it was a nice quiet holiday. 

Round Four was set to be a total breeze until I got sick last week. I don't know if it was the shot debacle, or the change in weather, or just the culmination of four rounds of chemo, but I got sick on Tuesday like I have never been. It was awful and today on Sunday I am still not 100%. But, thank God, every day I am getting a little better than the day before!

The side effects of chemo keep coming. Here are some additions to my list: black nails, black tongue, brown palms (my hands are the same color on both sides), wrinkly/dry skin, WEIGHT GAIN I have gained nearly twenty pounds since diagnosis- probably because of all of the steroids.

I went and had a second opinion at Moffitt Cancer Center in Tampa. It was an interesting experience to be able to compare service and treatment in real-time like this. Overall, it was informative, and I am so glad Brandon started the process because I probably would not have done it myself. The surgeon I met over there was awesome, and I am confident that I will have him complete my surgery. He recommended removing all of the lymph nodes under my right arm. His rationale is that we cannot tell if there is cancer in the lymph node unless it is under a microscope so why would we leave any in there at all. This is a big deal because I would have to have a plastic surgeon in the surgery to figure out new drainage pathways for all of those lymph nodes. He also recommended a double mastectomy. So that is what I will do. 

I also met with an oncologist. She said the treatment plan of 16 rounds and the medication I am being given is exactly what she would have done. That was good to hear. She did give me a look at what should be done after chemo, surgery, and radiation. She said I need to immediately be put into menopause and probably remove my ovaries. There are many more years of treatment ahead. Which is okay. I can handle this. She diagnosed me as having pregnancy-related cancer because it developed either during or within twelve months of my pregnancy. She also said that less than twenty percent of patients with my kind of cancer see any improvement from chemotherapy alone. Well, I told her that my lymph node had gotten smaller already and she said that is very promising because that means my body is reacting positively to the treatment. If I could describe it my lymph node before was the size of one of those hard little bouncy balls that kids always have and now it feels like a kidney bean. Look at God!

Tomorrow is Round Five and I start with the medicine that is supposed to be easier on my body. My chemo will be weekly starting tomorrow for twelve weeks. Let's do this!

So, that is my very long-winded update. Sorry y'all I try to be informative and concise. This last month has definitely had its highs and lows but through it all I am so overwhelmingly grateful for my people. You all show up for me in every way- spiritually with on-time prayers, physically, mentally- by letting me rant about things over and over, financially... in every single way. I am only making it through this because of how y'all are showing up for me. Thank you. Thank you for the calls and texts. Thank you all so much. I love you isn't enough. 

Talk soon. 💛